Charlie Sheen Wants Mila Kunis Now

Apparently Charlie Sheen watched Black Swan recently because now he can’t shut up about making Mila Kunis one of his goddesses. Also, cocaine makes you a delusional egomaniac. Probably should point that out, too. RadarOnline reports:

“Here’s the good news – my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved!” Sheen said. “I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.
“I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes… I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal.”

It really says a lot about Charlie’s relationship with his goddesses that his first reaction to bringing Mila onboard is he won’t care if she steals his shit. Clearly these chicks are robbing him blind and there’s nothing he can do about it because how else is he going to get laid? Go on dates? AHAHAHAHA! You can’t pull a knife at Olive Garden. He’s tried.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
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So Who Wants to See Chris Noth’s Balls?

One of these men is about to flash his testicles. Which will it- Oh, right, the headline.
Being a world-renowned journalist, I get lots of e-mails, comments, stripper-grams, tweets, etc. from female readers saying I don’t post enough eye candy for the ladies. So to remedy that, here’s Mr. Big himself Chris Noth flashing his fruit basket at a charity event in New York last night. Of course, like any time I try to please a woman, you’ll probably say, “My vagina’s not in my butt This isn’t what I had in mind,” but just yesterday you wanted to repaint the kitchen, so I think we can all agree you’re hysterical. Probably from filling that pretty little head of yours with thinking and the like, you poor thing. *puts fingers to your lips* Shhh… There, there. There, there….
Photos: INFdaily
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JWoww Wants to Have a Baby

One of the few, if not only defense for Jersey Shore was always, “Hey, at least they’re not squirting out babies like those kids on Teen Mom.” Granted, they’re spreading disease and pestilence to an entire seaboard, but at the end of the day they weren’t violently reproducing. Until now. Life & Style reports:

Hopefully I’ll be able to settle down and have kids within the next couple of years — maybe even the beginning of next year,” she tells Life & Style exclusively. “I don’t see myself going to the Shore in the next five years or so. I don’t want to jinx it — I haven’t really talked about it — but it would be nice.”

Just to put things in perspective, JWoww is going to bring a child into the world and then essentially force it to suckle on the equivalent of a beach ball yanked out of a Fukushima reactor while at the same time Republicans want to shutdown the government because they think there are too many abortions. I mean, what the- Have we entered some sort of alternate, parallel dimension? If I step outside will a talking dog tell me I need to find the Star Child? WHAT IS THIS STRANGE LAND?!
Photos: INFdaily, Splash News
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Web Studio Wants To Hire Nude Female Programmers

A web studio in Buckinghamshire, England, put out advertisements to recruit female web coders who want to work in the nude.

The aptly-named Nude House, where staff work naked in a “warm and private” naturist environment is also seeking to hire naked male and female sales staff.
Speaking to tech website The Register, company spokesperson Chris Taylor said: “As far as I am aware this is not only the first UK office job for naturists in web-coding or web-selling, but is also the first worldwide facility for naturists to earn substantial sums of money from work that incidentally provides them with the capability to work entirely without clothes.
“Because it is the first establishment in the world it is difficult to advertise – many seem to confuse the issue of being without clothes as being a place without concerns for personal freedom, where sex is paramount in its many varied forms.
“Sex does not play a part in naturism – yes one is aware of differences in sex and size and shape and age of everyone, but the concern is on sales and technical ability, not availability.”
The company requires its workers to work fully in the nude from the time they arrive at the office until they leave to go home.
Source: Orange
Tags: girls nude programming web
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